It’s okay to be where you are

For some, this may make sense, if you believe in God or some sort of cosmic being.

For others, this may anger you.

For those who have been through traumatic childhoods or traumatic events, you may think, “How could that have been meant for me?”

I’ve been listening a lot to Brooke Castillo and what she says about the past really helped me make peace with my own.

If what happened to you in the past was meant to happen any other way, it would have. When I was in my teens and 20s I went through an on and off again relationship that never got great closure; and I always wondered what could’ve been.

Graphic by Alana Van Der Sluys

But I have to take solace in knowing that I made the best decisions I could, in those moments. Those events were meant to happen based on the circumstances and beliefs of everyone at that moment. It couldn’t have happened any other way, because it DID happen that way.

That’s not to say that we don’t have control over our lives, because I absolutely think we do. 

But what’s happened to us in our past has happened to us. There’s no changing those events. The ONLY thing we can do is CHOOSE how we will let it affect us NOW, in this moment.

We also have to keep in mind that everything that happens to us is neutral. A breakup, weight gain, a lost friendship, a lost job… it’s all neutral until we assign an emotion to those thing or until we make them mean something; and usually we make it mean something about us.

I lost that job because I’m not talented enough.

He left me because I’m not thin/pretty enough.

When something happens to you, take a pause and think, “What am I making this mean?”

What’s happened to you thus far is now neutral because it’s in the past. It already happened. There’s nothing that can be done about it. What can be done, now, is what you make it mean in your present.

Will you let your past events define who you are and how you show up in this world? Or will you CHOOSE to say that you are more than those moments and you ARE the captain of your own ship?

The waitlist is filling up for my FREE FOOD FREEDOM MASTERCLASS series this spring! Send me your email below, DM me on Instagram–@FreedomwithFoodandFitness or at

With freedom,


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