Resolution Regret: How to Move Forward from a Failed New Year’s Resolution

So, be honest: Are you still holding steady to your New Year’s resolution for 2023? 

Yeah… that’s what I thought. 

And there’s NO shame in that from me, friend! I can’t tell you how many times I told myself that I was going to eat perfectly clean, cut out refined sugar, cut out carbs, meal prep perfectly, work out perfectly, get down to my goal weight, and not break a metaphorical sweat doing it all. 

I was acting as if I could flip a switch and suddenly be able to do all those things!

And then I would inevitably feel like shit some random day in January or February when it all went to hell and I couldn’t hack it. 

What was wrong with me? I thought. 

Turns out, there was nothing wrong with me; and everything wrong with the way I was goal setting!

Here are some typical pitfalls to goal setting–and solutions to each. Which ones are you experiencing? 

PROBLEM: You put too much pressure on the resolution

When we make New Year’s resolutions, particularly on January 1, we put so much pressure on our new and perfect plans; if we fail at them, it subconsciously tells us that the entire next year is ruined. That we can’t start over. Talk about pressure–not being able to make a mistake for a whole 365 days!

This is commercialized bullshit perpetuated by diet culture. We have to buy into all their expensive programs on January 1, because otherwise, our year will be one fraught with weight gain, a lack of health, and zero self-confidence. 

SOLUTION: Realize that this resolution doesn’t make or break you as a person

Stop attributing the success of this resolution to your self-worth. Not eating perfectly clean doesn’t make you a bad person. Missing a workout doesn’t make you a bad person. You are someone who is on a journey toward better, more authentic and attuned health in the form of intuitive eating; but you’re not an intuitive eating robot. 

PROBLEM: You get caught in black and white thinking. 

You’re either at the gym every day for an hour–or not stepping foot in a gym for two months. 

You’re either eating kale salad with a squeeze of lemon for lunch–or eating fruit snacks for breakfast, lunch AND dinner. 

And your emotional state between both extremes is also–well–extreme. You’re riding a health kick high when you’re eating “healthy” and then in a full-on shame spiral when you’re not. 

SOLUTION: Learn to live in the gray

No one is perfect. I don’t care who you’re looking at on Instagram or even in your real life. In fact, many of the influencers you see are either disordered eaters, binge eaters or have other areas of their life where they’re a complete dumpster fire. 

When you “mess up,” instead of seeing it as a failure, see it as an opportunity to get better. We always want to look like we have it all together and have all the answers, when in reality, life is so much more rich when we continually get to go on a journey of self-improvement and evolution. 

PROBLEM: Your resolution (or goal) is too big. 

DId you promise yourself you were going to go to the gym six days a week?

…and journal every morning?

…and meditate for 30 minutes every evening? 

…and never yell at your kids again? 

…and always meal prep every Sunday? 

Yikes. That’s a lot. No wonder all the plates crashed and broke so quickly! You were spinning too many of them. 

Most of these habits are ones that I currently do—but it took years of stacking them, one by one! 

When we “multitask,” even with our goals, we can’t focus on doing any of them particularly well; we can’t focus on mastering them. 

SOLUTION: Choose one big goal and break it up into smaller goals. 

I have one big goal for my business this year: to grow my business. Within that big goal, I have a lot of small goals: a certain number of clients I’d like to sign, a certain number of reels that I’ll post on Instagram per day, a marketing plan for my book (which is further broken down into smaller goals!).

Tackle one small goal at a time in pursuance of a larger goal. We overestimate what we can do in the short-term and underestimate when we can do in the long-term. Give yourself time to create the staircase to your goals, one stair at a time. 

Goal setting, achieving goals, time management and habit formation are some of my secret superpowers–and I give the secrets to these to clients inside Defy the Diet. 

  • Healing your relationship with food
  • Creating a movement habit you enjoy
  • Prepping nourishing meals 
  • Learning to appreciate your body and your life

They all stem from being able to set and achieve goals both big and small. 
So let me help you do just that. Fill out my application for coaching at There, you can choose whether you’d like to hop on a 15-minute discovery call or would like me to send you a free customized video offer. Either way, I’ll detail EXACTLY how coaching with me will get you past the roadblocks to food freedom and to a life and body that you love!

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